


Oh, Negan!

by gladixlusamicitia



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, like really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:16:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8545840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladixlusamicitia/pseuds/gladixlusamicitia
Summary: A bet you made with a friend takes a turn for the worst when you realise the last person you have to use a pick up line on is Negan…





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was such a dumb idea but it made me laugh so I wrote it.
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr! - oceansgrxywaves.tumblr.com

This in theory was possibly one of the worst ideas that could have been thought of – yes, Sanctuary needed a bit more fun putting into it but this was probably one step too far. While indeed, it had been fun to being with, pulling pranks on different members of Sanctuary to make the days seem just a little bit better, in order to make people laugh.

At this point in time, you’d managed to prank almost everyone in the Sanctuary; Dwight hadn’t taken too kindly to the bad pick up lines that you were using as your method of pranking everyone, but hey, some people had laughed from them.

“You realise you have one more person to say a line to.” Your friend, Joe, in the kitchens spoke to you, turning his head towards you. You blinked a couple of times, trying to remember who you hadn’t pranked yet… Then it hit you. “The big man himself.”

“No way in hell.”

Negan was the only person in Sanctuary left, and you’d betted a simple one hundred points on making sure that you could get a pick up line on everyone. Unfortunately, it seemed that meant you had to include Negan in that, and he scared the shit out of you.

“If you don’t then those one hundred points are mine~” He grinned across at you, a smarmy shit eating grin at that. A low whine left your lips, you really didn’t want to even attempt to flirt with him normally, let alone on purpose with a really bad pick up line… He may have scared you, but even you had to admit that Negan was definitely an attractive man. “Are you a chicken? Too scared to flirt with Negan?”

There was just one more thing you hated more than being scared.

Losing a bet that was extremely simple.

“Fuck off Joe, I’m not a chicken.”

You were.

It was unfortunate that Joe was by your side when the inevitable moment came, Negan was walking down the corridor of Sanctuary, Lucille luckily not by his side for once, good, you weren’t going to get killed if this went horribly wrong and he was offended by it.

“Oh, Negan!” You called out to him, leaning against the wall of the corridor. This was it, you were going to get those one hundred points from Joe and use them to buy as much vodka from the commissary as possible, just to drown out the memories of what you were about to do. “Did I ever tell you that I was raised on a chicken farm?”

“Ain’t that fucking interesting-“

“’Cause I sure know how to raise a cock~”

You put the best sly grin on your lips; Negan froze on the spot, turning to face you with a raised eyebrow. You glanced down to his ass, biting your lip for a moment then breathed in, stepping closer to him.

“Did you sit in a pile of sugar, Negan? ‘Cause you’ve got a pretty sweet ass!”

He continued to stare at you, Joe waving his hands and shaking his head in an attempt to get you to stop, but no, this was it, you were on a roll with these bad lines and you were going to continue.

All of a sudden, dirty grin spreads across Negan’s lips, leaning in close to you and whispered in your ear.

“Did you fucking know that the word of the day is legs?”

“No?”

“And I think we should spread the word.”

You stared at Negan; glancing back to see that Joe had already ran off in the process. It was then that you burst out laugh, covering your mouth with your hands as you collapsed back against the wall. Negan snorting, shaking his head as he leaned against the wall next to you, raising an eyebrow as he spoke with a charming grin on his lips.

“I’ve been fucking waiting for my turn, I wondered what was taking you so fucking long.”

“You knew?” There was a sudden sinking feeling in your stomach, who told him about it? You swallowed sharply, a look of panic on your face.

“Dwight told me, said you were tormenting everyone with your fucking shitty pick up lines.” He laughed when he saw your face. “Calm the fuck down, you didn’t upset anyone, you made people laugh. Fuck knows we need it.”

“So… You’re not going to kill me?”

“For having fun? You fucking worked while doing it, I don’t give a shit.”

“Actually I’m owed one hundred points by my friend since he didn’t believe I could use pick up lines on everyone in Sanctuary.”

Negan shook his head, commenting under his breath about your friend being a pussy for running off. Still, he stepped away from the wall, leaving you smiling to yourself, it felt good, having accomplished something so trivial yet so fun.

“Oh, by the way.”

Negan’s voice made you look up at him, blinking curiously.

“Bring up some whiskey with those points, we’ll spread the word of the day if you’re interested.”

He left you stood there with a blush on your cheeks, until a giggle left your lips. Maybe he wasn’t as scary as you thought he was… Glancing around, you whistled lowly before heading off to the commissary, you had some quality whiskey to buy.


End file.
